Empress Theresa

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Big Fancy House: The Parker estate where Theresa and Steve temporarily stay at whilst hiding from assassins. The New York Times posts an exclusive about how Theresa is looking at North Korea as her next target. President Stinson demands a meeting with her, and instead has a General meet with her, as Theresa is paranoid the President would kill her. Theresa’s idea is to target everyone in North Korea randomly and, if they have a weapon, destroy the weapon, allowing South Korean forces to move in. The general notes that the common people of North Korea, with this new liberation, will kill every governmental worker - all 2 million of them. “The atrocities will make Nazi concentration camps look like vacation resorts.” A little bit more tact is necessary to do this correctly. She needs to convince the North Koreans to want to leave before she can do anything. This book is Literary Sadomasochism. She's obsessed with how she looks and dresses, how her butt or cleavage looks or her wonderful mane of hair. She solves all the "world" problems in a way that benefits herself or makes her look great, but not by her wits or intelligence but by an outside power. At the age of ten she was possessed or something by a ball of energy or something that jumped out of fox or something and gives her superpowers. Theresa says in Chapter 4 that Psalm 23 is "not a standard church prayer". Almost every church uses Psalm 23 at some point in their services, and it's one of the most recognizable prayers in the entire Christian and Jewish faiths. note It’s “The Lord is my Shepherd,” if you don’t know the chapter numbers. Considering Boutin is a devout Catholic, you'd think he'd know better.

Oh, so very much. Rather than use her powers to save the world, Theresa basically goes on an extended holiday and complains about everything in France. She also misses chipmunks while there. Steve and Theresa fall in love, and decide to marry because they couldn't "go four years without doing it." They get married and hold a reception where Theresa shows off her shoulders and cleavage, which "charmed the crowd." What Happened to the Mouse?: Theresa's family seems to disappear out of existence. Same with the Parker family's children who only appear a couple of times before being forgotten about again. Norman finished the first draft of Empress Theresa in January of 2010, with the initial word count being 142,000 words long. [19] In November of 2011, Norman publicly announced that he had written the story, and was looking for a literary agent. [20] He spent the next two years looking for one, which was done "with not an encouraging word to be heard"; Norman attributed this to the publishing system, as well as the fact that most agents he sent the manuscript to probably didn't "even bother to read the query letter." [21] My work does not deserve to be criticized if I am suffering. The author's pain does not elevate the value of his or her work. Novels are valued for their originality, believable or relatable characters and their capability to elicit emotions on the reader.At a crucial point in the "action", Theresa compares herself to the heroine of The Hunger Games. And whines about how her life is so much harder.

Theresa begins to get restless while trapped in the Parker residence, trying to teach HAL how to utilize the tools custom built for it. She walks into the woods outside the Parker residence, on the way to the village right outside it. She spends some time with the villagers, engaging in a picnic with them as she’s pursued and spied on by the British government. She becomes audience to a small singing concert, but is interrupted by her protectors because of the coming onslaught of the media. The date jumps to August 30th, where it’s mentioned that the annual crop in the United States was a 90% failure and expected to be worse everywhere else. Holy places around the world fill with prayer, with the mantra “God is in control.” At this time, Theresa begins her first big experiment with HAL using all the tools she’s constructed. One of Norman Boutin's most used responses against critics who couldn't finish Empress Theresa is to tell them that, since they haven't read the whole book, their opinion doesn't matter. He claims that they can't judge characters, plot, how good a story is, etc., because they haven't seen the full scope of what happens. Theresa does so well in the fifth grade that she skips to the seventh grade. Jan Struthers and the other agents continue to monitor her. Norman Boutin has also used this to try to defend mistakes in his book. For example, when people pointed out the (hundreds of) typos, he replied that he came across copies of Pride and Prejudice and JP Morgan's biography which contained typos. [44] The "You haven't read the whole book" Card [ ] Loved by All: Theresa is universally adored the entire planet, who throng about her wherever she goes. People are captivated by her the moment she walks in a room simply because she radiates goodness. Professionals in their fields are in awe of her wisdom. The only people who dislike her are the press because she's just so gosh-darn perfect that they can't dig up any dirt on her.A very good example of this is the Army-Navy game. Theresa participates in the Army-Navy game, which is hyped up to be a massive event. When it actually happens? Theresa just mentions it within a sentence and calls it a day. Similarly when she's married at 19, she spends more time describing her dress than the actual ceremony. Nonindicative Name: Despite the name, HAL has far more in common with the Monolith than with HAL 9000. Three helicopter flights later, she arrives in a southern airbase, and taken to a cafeteria where she is allowed to eat. She takes twelve bottles of Coca-Cola and put eleven of the bottles in a garbage bag. The guards permit her to keep it, dismissing it "as the irrational behavior of someone who knew she'd die in hours." She is then taken to her room, where she is permitted to sleep. Norman is extremely prideful, but also prone to self-pitying to inflate his pride. On one comment he said "Norman Buiton, the most hated man since Caligula, and proud of it!", in response to criticism. As seen above, Norman Boutin has stated that he believes Empress Theresa deserves to be part of required reading at all high schools. He has told others with absolute certainty that their daughters would read Empress Theresa, as it would be required reading in Catholic high schools everywhere. [20]

Eventually, Norman Boutin was banned from the forum, most likely for his attitude towards...well, everyone.Prime Minister Ben Scherzer: "Those who challenge Theresa Hartley's power are fools. She could destroy the world. Don't push her too far."

Theresa herself, who is needlessly rude to people she considers beneath her and is not affected by the concept of evil in the world. Premise 1: Empress Theresa is destined to become a huge success. Considering the extensive negative opinions about the work, reportedly so boring that many people did not even finish it, it is impossible for ET to become a famous novel. Unless ET undergoes extensive editing, which Boutin will not allow, it will be universally rejected for publication. Plot Hole: This book has enough of these to bore down the center of the Earth and out the other side. Characters appear and then depart from the story on a whim. The reasoning behind certain actions is never explained. In fact, if you even want to know why Theresa was targeted to be taken out with an atom bomb, you have to read Boutin refuting negative comments on a wiki. Yes. You read that right. Anyone who opposes Theresa grasps it firmly, first and foremost Army and Navy officers who let her carry everything she needs for her plan to escape being executed via Nuke 'em without batting an eye. A common criticism against Empress Theresa and Norman Boutin's rants is that he covers a wide array of topics (religion, politics, government agencies, etc.) and yet exhibits very little working knowledge of how they operate, or how they would work in a certain situation. A variety of situations are full of plotholes when compared to how such situations would actually operate in real life (e.g., guards permitting Theresa to lug a bag of coke bottles around up to her execution), while the solutions given for certain dilemmas make absolutely no sense (e.g., all of Israel leaving their homeland).The final chapter is filled with numerous questions caused by Theresa putting the entire human race into a 600-year coma. At one point, Theresa completely destroys the economy for gold bullion owners, and they hire a lawyer to take Theresa to court over her alteration of the economy. Instead of being angry at the people who hired a lawyer for a class action lawsuit, Theresa instead sabotages the life of the lawyer and makes it so any motor vehicle with her inside will inexplicably stall and fail. This is treated as okay because of the fact that Theresa was being bullied, never mind that she is bullying an innocent lawyer who is just trying to do her job (whom she also knows has children). Theresa never reverses this either, so this is presumably just something this woman has to live with forever now, and the book acts like this just immediately stops the lawsuit and Theresa is done with this situation. Rage Against the Heavens: Theresa gets angry with God during one of her missions. He is not impressed and tells her to stop whining and do what she ought to do. Christianity is Catholic: There are a few references to a priest and a Cardinal, and the Pope – for some mysterious reason – pays for Theresa's college education. Creepy Child: Theresa spawns 420 of them while the world is in a 600-year coma. They have numbers for names, they're kept in a prepubescent state for centuries, they all look like Theresa and Steve... yeah.