Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

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Everything a man does is filtered through his title (who he is), how he gets that title (what he does), and the reward he gets for the effort (how much he makes). These three things are all that make up the basic DNA of manhood.

I want every woman who truly wants a solid relationship but just can’t figure out how to get one… to forget everything she’s ever been taught about men,” Harvey begins. “Erase the myths, the heresy, everything your mother told you, everything your girlfriends told you, all the advice you’ve read in magazines and seen on television—and find out here, who men really are.” Men and women have been trying to go beyond the "hook up" and create a long lasting bond since the days of Adam and Eve. Now comes another spin to the web woman can weave to catch a "good"man. Based on Steve Havey's bestselling book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, the movie Think Like a Man puts these words into action. It seeks to set the record straight on the type of men out there: the player, the mama's boy, the dreamer, the non-committal, the divorce guy, and the married man. In this tale a group of guys are on the prowl and each seeks to find someone. While the women are ready for the hunt but are armed with the shield from "the book". It's cute, whimsical, and hard hitting as these couples find out that love cannot be found with a road map or formula, but has to be an odyssey of vulnerability and self discover. A good movie, but should be not be a date movie, because it already adds to the pressure to the typical high first date "standards". In the same way God created Eve to give pleasure to Adam,” Federici writes, “so did capital create the housewife to service the male worker physically, emotionally, and sexually… It is not an accident, then, if most men start thinking of getting married as soon as they get their first job. This is not only because now they can afford it, but also because having somebody at home who takes care of you is the only condition of not going crazy after a day spent on an assembly line or at a desk.” By being a high quality woman, by setting the bar high and by demanding and requiring proper behavior, you communicate that you’re a keeper. I also like how he advises women to re-word what they're trying to say to their man to make him feel like man. We're wired different and communicate different.Mr. Harvey gives a brief insight into his own life at the beginning of each chapter, then delves into the topics that range from: The problem for all too many women who call in to my radio show, though, is that they just can't get that reciprocation from men, and women then end up feeling disappointed, disenfranchised, and disillusioned by their failed relationships.

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment is a 2009 self help book by Steve Harvey which describes for women Harvey's concept of how men really think of love, relationships, intimacy, commitment, and how to successfully navigate a relationship with a man. Harvey gets candid about how before he made it as a comedian, he got laid off as an inspector from the Ford assembly line and found himself unemployed without a college degree or any self-confidence. He couldn’t focus on women. Just as he bumps up against what has the potential to be an insightful evaluation of the market's pressures on men, he points the finger at women: “Many of you figure that if a man truly loves you, the two of you should be able to pursue your dreams together… This is honorable, but really, it’s not the way men work. His eye will be on the prize and that prize may not necessarily be you… It’s impossible for us to focus on the two—we’re just not that gifted, sorry.” Sex, well, Steve says men can only go a month without it. And if you start rationing out sex, he’ll be looking for it elsewhere.

When a woman doesn’t provide for these three things, the relationship is doomed. 4. Talking Differences

The first part of this book reads like a relationship manual from 1950. I understand where he's coming from, but I couldn't relate. My mind doesn't work that way. A friend of mine agreed that it did sound a little bit dateed, but she also said "it gets better." Harvey says the only reason why he is able to stall marriage is that she hasn’t required him to set the date. Now, the part that made me want to throw the book against the wall (but I didn't, because I was reading on the iPad) was about cheating. Steve Harvey can't count the number of impressive women he's met over the years - the many incredible women who can run a business, have three kids, maintain a household in tiptop shape, and chair a church group all at the same time. So when it comes to relationships, why can't these same women figure out what makes men commit? According to Steve, it's because they're asking other women for advice when they should be going directly to the source. In this expanded edition, Steve includes an added section of all new advice, with tips on dealing with your partner's exes, spicing up your relationship, ensuring you're ready for that walk down the aisle, and much more. After I finished the book, however, I couldn't remember anything related to the idea presented in the title. The author quoted it once, or maybe twice, without explaining his point any further.

In case you think I’m really on one, I'd like to point out that Harvey tells us that his inspiration for his 90-day no-sex-after-meeting-a-man rule came from a healthcare coverage policy at the Ford Motor plant, the very one where he got laid off from the assembly line. “If Ford won’t give a man benefits until he’s been on the job and proven himself, why, ladies, are you passing out benefits to men before they’ve even proven themselves worthy?” Uh, because health insurance and sex between two consenting adults are very different things, Steve? With translations in more than thirty languages, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is the definitive relationship guide for women. Don’t be afraid to be upfront with him, either. You start catching the feels? Ask where things are headed or if things will ever get serious between the two of you. And with that comes… I skimmed through the Q&A section, which had the dumbest questions and answers I have ever seen. This book seems to be for women who are just not very intelligent, if he proclaims that those are the sorts of questions that "every woman" is dying to know the answers to. Another thing: he says a woman needs to have her man say this to her: "When I don't see you, I miss talking to you, I always wonder what you're doing and whenever you come around, I just feel better—you're the type of woman I've been trying to find." And he goes on to say, "In other words, his answer has to make you feel wonderful. He may not be in love with you just yet, but he's crazy about you and he's probably thinking he wants to explore a long-term commitment with you..." He has to explain himself on everything because he is not clear. He has no examples of good, healthy marriages in this book, to prove his point. It's all on a whim and what he believes. He puts all men in one category and it proves absolutely nothing. I think this book emasculates men! His relationship story with his wife doesn't convince me that he has good advice! What man says "I'm going to marry you someday!" when she walks into the room? I told my brother (who is 19!) about the things in this book and he agreed with me! Steve Harvey is a confusing male and doesn't have business writing a "self-improvement" book.

Before he figures out how to achieve his minimum goals in those areas he will be too busy to focus on you(and on family & relationships). After telling women they need to act like a lady, he says this: "This "If he wants to marry me, he'll ask me" thing has got to stop. Because we're not going to ask you when you're ready—we're going to play with you until you give us your requirements and standards and stand by them. I'm not telling you to get on bended knee. I'm telling you to set a timeline for the ring and the date, and tell the man you want to married to what it is." Talk about pushy! Every woman knows that if you've talked to your man about marriage and he hasn't made a move, chances are, he's not ready! Whatever happened to the beginning of the book where he said men cheat because they haven't found out who they are yet? Well, chances are, he's not giving you a ring because he hasn't found out who he is. That’s one of the reasons, Steve says, that poor men run away from their father’s duties: to escape their feelings of inadequacy ( indeed Tony Robbins says his father ran away when strangers donated his family food for Thanksgiving). In any case, we should probably take the advice of a man whose current wife was his former mistress with a few grains of--or maybe a salt shaker's worth of-- salt.

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Not all men are like that. Some men want women who are more equals and who can work for themselves. You know damn well that you’d rather spend your days cuddled up in your pajamas, binge watching Friends instead of taking two hours to get ready and hammering ten shots to make yourself appear (somewhat) interesting. Be who you are and Mr. Right will love you for that specific reason. If he doesn’t, I’d honestly rather be happy, alone, than settle and be miserable. These questions by themselves will also cause him to start seeing you in a different, and better light. 11. The Ninety Days Rule