You betray yourself when you don’t do something you feel you should do—for instance, not apologizing when you know you should. Through a relatable story about a man facing challenges on the job and in his family, this groundbreaking book exposes the fascinating ways we can blind ourselves to our true motivations and unwittingly sabotage the effectiveness of our own efforts at success and happiness. Our referral links allow us to earn commissions (at no extra cost to you) and keep the site running. After a while you can be default "in the box" with someone else, even without self-betrayal in a particular situation.

Be it in your private life or at work, the feeling of dealing with someone on a basis of mutual respect is a positive and inspiring one, and also a key to success. Remember, self-deception is not defined by what we do, but by what the underlying emotions are, so simply changing behavior will not solve the problem.Through a story with awful writing and a painstakingly unaware main character, it over-complicates themes of emotional intelligence, interpersonal relationships within the workplace, and conflict resolution that are, perhaps, more well-explored by their audience than the authors presumed.

I want to see myself as I really am and I want to openly see those I love as they really are: as people (not objects) with thoughts and feelings and desires just like I have and which are just as valid as my own. This book will make you feel like a weasel on one hand, recognizing that so much of our interactions with others are the results of our own decisions to do or not do what we know is the "right" thing to do.When you’re in the box, you see only your own interests and have a distorted view of others—you see them as objects or as problems standing in your way.

It demonstrates the negative impact this self-deception has on our lives, but also shows a way out of this state, benefiting both our private and professional lives.In contrast, when you’re out of the box and not limited by your distorted view, you see others as people like you with equally legitimate interests.